E.L.F. Environmentally Lascivious Fruitcakes
Well, the EnvironMENTAL Terrorist group known as “E.L.F.” is at it again. They like to think their name stands for “Environmental Liberation”, but the only thing they are liberating is idiotic thoughts that go through their feeble little minds, by turning them into vile & despicable actions.
I’m sure all their house & SUV burning is just great for the environment right? I guess if these people had two brain cells to rub together they might think of those things, but then again, if they did they wouldn’t be running around committing crimes against humanity.
You know, I don’t think we should ever close Guantanamo. It’s a perfect place to put ELF members as we begin rounding them up for their terrorism crimes. In fact, if they are to eat while they are in prison, we should give them a fireproof cell, a small slab of raw meat, a bottle of water (Plastic of course), a Styrofoam cup, some uncooked rice, & a few pieces of wood to start a fire with. I mean they should be used to starting fires, & this way they can decide between salmonella, & saving the environment with no interference from the outside world! If they want the environment completely safe, they can use the same cup over & over, not cook the food to avoid creating any environmentally unfriendly emissions. I mean maybe they’ll get some deadly food or water borne disease because they don’t cook their food, or wash their cup out, but hey! We’re just helping them uphold their oath to protect the environment at all costs right?
This way, the environment is safe, & we won’t have to spend tax dollars feeding them anymore, or worry if they’re going to burn down our Trucks & Houses in the middle of the night. Everyone wins!
In fact, I say we open a special facility called Elftanamo Gay Prison. A place where all Environmentalist Extremists can congregate to gaily burn Styrofoam cups in effigy, & eat raw meat, or starve in protest of burning wood that isn’t attached to someone’s house. Does this all seem really crazy to you, & to be not really making any sense?
Perfect! A senseless prison for a senseless group of individuals, the E.L.F.
~ Dan Lee
Tags: , crimes, criminals, dan lee, ecoterrorists, ELF, environment, EnvironMENTAL Liberation Front, environmental terror, extremists, fires, Home fires, Media, media bias, news, press, Pundit, SUVs, terrorists, vandalism