Debra Beasley Lafave, the wounded & exploited exception.
A few years back I remember being shocked at the allegations that were being levied toward Debra Lafave, a very attractive & highly intelligent school teacher from Tampa Florida. After watching the details of the story unfold, my shock turned to anger as the details of the case came to light seemingly in slow motion over the next couple years.
Admittedly what I knew of the case came really only from the 10 second sound & video bites that I managed to catch while passing by a TV, or checking the news on the web. Like most I expected fully that from what I knew, she would have the book thrown at her, regardless of her beauty, cuteness, or appearance, because of the severity of her crimes.
As a man I was both very aware of the double standard that men often face in regard to sex crimes when it comes to the perception. Men who commit the same crime that Debra did are often viewed as sex hungry evil monsters with no regard for life or humanity, while often women offenders are portrayed as emotionally unstable, or traumatized, & therefore surely not fully responsible for their actions.
When Debra Lafave’s sentence was handed down, I was completely livid & felt like many did, that had it been a guy against girl offense, the guy would have gotten 10 years hard time minimum. I felt offended that men are so often treated more harshly than women when it comes to handing down a sentence.
But then I recently watched her interview with Matt Lauer, & could not help but see some of the same personality traits possessed by relative of mine. A young woman who like Debra, so seemingly inexplicably engaged in the most bizarre sexual behavior, had an absent (alcoholic) father, anorexia, bulimia, had at least one attempt at suicide, & who eventually developed Bi-polar depression. Now before I go any further, I’m not making total excuses for Debra Lafave, but I am going to clarify that mental illness & childhood issues were certainly a huge factor in her behavior, just like they were in the case of my relative. In the case of my relative no laws were broken, but certainly her behavior was self destructive.
In subsequent years, & in hopes of understanding my family member’s problem, I became interested in the psychology of young females. Watching Debra speak, & looking at her facial expressions & body language told a story that would escape me had it not been for the number of books on child psychology & family issues I’ve read. It is my experienced opinion that Debra Lafave was in fact seriously mentally ill at the time of her offenses, & as a result of a number of factors. I also do not think that she was lying about her feelings or experiences in her interview. I’ve read comments around the web saying that she was “trained in the latest pop psychology.” These people clearly haven’t thought this through. If bipolar wasn’t a legitimate illness, do they think for a minute that insurance companies would pay for the medications? Yet they pay millions every year in benefits to people who suffer from this, because sound scientific medical data supports the claims.
What was most evident to me in her interview was that she had suffered a number of trauma’s that could contribute to post traumatic stress, thus leading to chemical imbalance in the brain. Without knowing her family history however, it’s not possible to know if there is a genetic link to her illness. The loss of her sister would be considered a major trauma. But the bigger question was why did Debra see her sister as the ultimate anchor in her life? My experience tells me that it was likely due to a weak or non existent father figure. It struck me as no co-incidence that Debra’s father has never been mentioned by her in any interview or story I could find.
After watching her come up in the media time & time again, to the point of being obviously being exploited because of her looks, I decided to look into her story. What I’ve found is a case of true mental illness behind a pretty face, & a lot of sick media & idiots that are willing to exploit it for their own reasons. As much as I detest the Main Stream Media, I felt that Matt Lauer actually treated Debra Lafave (now back to her maiden name Beasley) with fairness, & at the same time, did not give her a total pass on her actions.
The place where Debra failed, was where she didn’t ask for help when she knew that her thoughts were becoming irrational. The place where her family failed was when they most surely saw signs of her behavior, & didn’t firmly demand she get help. The place where her doctor at one point failed, was giving a bi-polar patient anti-depressants, instead of a mood stabilizer, with an anti-depressant IF the anti depressant was necessary.. There’s a key question that any patient with emotional distrubances should always be asked; “Do you sometimes feel really excited & happy, & then very sad & depressed within hours, or in the same day?” The answer to that question could uncover whether or not the patient is suffering from bipolar disorder. In fairness to Debra ’s physician, or any other doctor, they can’t easily treat someone who doesn’t give them accurate answers to their questions. I have no way of knowing what the doctor asked in Debra’s case, or how she responded.
Society has failed Debra in that people often overlook signs of mental illness in beautiful people, because they just don’t want to believe it could happen to such a beautiful person. They are too busy either wanting something from them, or lifting them onto a pedestal that only increases the likelihood of severe injury when they finally fall off of it.
Debra Lafave is not a Monster, or a habitual sex offender in my humble opinion. She is a scared little girl who was not given the tools of self esteem that can only come from her father’s affirmation, or after the fact, from God himself. That coupled with a Bi-Polar brain chemistry problem was a recipe for disaster.
To all the “hot for teacher”, photo searching sicko bloggers who have taken joy in her misfortune, lets not forget that you’re as sick as she is (or more accurately was.) I have even seen people who claim to be conservatives call her a pedophile, & yet they make comments about how “they’d still hit it.” You’re sex addicted if you say things like that, so shut your hypocritical mouths & get help yourselves! These are South Park pseudo conservatives with shit for brains, period. Their shallow & uneducated opinions should be immediately disregarded.
Owen Lafave, Debra Beasley’s ex husband did write a book on his own experiences with this tragedy. In his book he describes a distant relationship between Debra & her father, as well as a militant religious upbringing. Of these, the greatest to note is the distant relationship between her & her father. I cannot stress how devastating this is to the psychology of a young woman, no matter how beautiful she is born. Without her father’s affirmation during her pre-teen years, all the way through puberty, she will NOT understand her worth, & will not have normal self esteem.
This is NOT pop psychology either, but a hard cold fact backed by years of sound psychological research.
So what is my message? My message is this, Debra “Lafave” Beasley didn’t get off as easy as one might think by watching the surface stories in the media, or reading the uneducated & perversion laced opinions of even some who claim to be conservatives on the web.
She will likely always need medication to keep her serotonin & dopamine levels stable, & until she has finished her 7 years of probation, she’s required to wear a tracking device. She has also been portrayed as a slut on the internet, & exploited over & over. She will be a registered sex offender for the rest of her life. I want to go on record as saying I think the exploitation is unfair, & that it should stop.
I do not see Debra as having any risk of re-offending, because she’s now getting treatment for her disorder. Of course there’s no way of knowing that, but I think under her circumstances, her defense team’s psychologist probably saved her from herself, & more importantly her untreated illness.
Now I know a lot of people are skeptical of the defense of mental illness. I can’t say I blame you completely, because until it affected my own life & family, I was pretty hard to convince as well. But then when I actually put down my prejudice & investigated the matter, I found that the facts of mental illness are irrefutable. When you think about it logically, you realize it only makes sense. People take Tums for antacid because of problems with the balance in their stomach acid, or Prevacid (the little purple pill) if they have a severe acid reflux. Why? Well in fairness to the facts, sometimes it’s because they do not eat as they should, but other times it’s because the sufferers are overweight due to a hereditary thyroid problem. So as you can see, if the stomach can get out of balance, or the sufferers of Gout can suffer because of acidity in their system, it follows logically that brain chemistry issues must be a legitimate possibility.
I believe that eyes are truly telling, which is why doctors look at them to tell if you’re drunk, on drugs, or have a concussion. In the following picture, I believe Debra was almost completely disconnected from reality, as evidenced by the blank lifeless appearance of her eyes & facial expression.
In the next picture, after she’s subsequently been receiving treatment, notice the change in the appearance of her eyes & facial expression.
Debra Lafavre is both a victimizer, & a victim, that is the truth of the matter. In her interview with Matt Lauer, she took full responsibility for her actions. She even stated that she thinks she should be in Jail. This is a case where I actually disagree. What she should do once she is recovered to a safe level, is spend her days educating people on the risks of untreated bipolar, & the consequences of not getting the right help. She’s no good to herself, God, or society, if she’s in jail, or pasted all over tabloids, anymore than Marylin Monroe was when she was drugging herself to death in bed, pre viable treatments for BiPolar disorder.
In closing I want to say that we should hate the sins, & not the sinners, for we all have had our moments. We should not judge too quickly, especially when our judgment is made devoid of sufficient fact finding, & most importantly, we should encourage those who are sick in our society to heal & become productive whenever possible. Debra Beasley should also not be made an example of, just because she happens to be attractive. It’s not right, & anyone who searches their soul carefully has to admit it, if they have one. Her chances of re-offending in my experienced opinion, are no more than anyone else at this point, & I believe that the assessment by the court & her psychologist was both sound & factual in this case. I may receive some blowback about this, but that’s ok, because I know that my analysis is fair & factual.
I did not hear a lot of illegitimate excuses from Debra Beasley, & I hope I never do. What I do hope is that she’ll use her experiences to make something of herself that her father Jesus Christ in heaven can be proud of. I also hope that she will finally realize the Love of the ultimate father, & make him proud to call her his daughter. Additionally, I pray that our society will see clear to letting her, & her male victim heal in peace. ~ Dan Lee
If you or a family member suffers from unusual mood swings, it may be due to a serious mood disorder. Please check here for more information, & absolutely contact your physician for professional advice.
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